I’m often asked the question, “Why do I seem to get into the same relationship, over and over?” This is a monumental inquiry and essential to all those leaving an abusive relationship. Lesson Learned or Unearned? You think that when you leave an abusive relationship, your lessons regarding domestic abuse are well learned. But then, […]

Women in abusive relationships with their intimate partners at home, or with their soon-to-be ex-husbands in court, often believe that the abuse to them is about them. If you are one of these women, know this fact…It’s not about you. I was one of these women. Here’s the belief I held and how I came […]

You think your psychologist will help you in your family court abuse and divorce case, and your attorney expects your psychologist to help him/her. Unfortunately, your psychologist and your attorney do not share the same perspective on what that “help” looks like. Sound familiar? I have seen countless cases in which clients are told by […]

“You are backed into supervised or therapeutic visitation and your children are brainwashed to see you as ‘danger.’ The alienating parent cuts you out of your lost child’s life. When you realize there’s nothing to hold onto, you pack your personals, grab what’s left of your life and run.” Sounding familiar…? Some people leave for […]

There are people who have been on our email list since its inception nearly five years ago. Many of these faithful readers are deeply rooted in the battered women’s movement. Some have asked, “Why are you trying to help people ‘fix’ relationships that many people urge you to flee?” I say, “excellent question.” The answer […]

It’s been seven years since he/she has had contact with his/her child. And this child is turning 18 years old next year. Those forgotten longings and rights start stirring again. I hear this story routinely and recognize a pattern in these parents who have been tossed aside as though they were tissue that no longer […]

“Here’s your monthly allowance, dear. It’s yours to spend as you wish.”… “By the way, please write a check to cover…” “And while you’re at it, I’d like to review your checkbook to see how you are spending the rest.” Sound familiar? “Financial abuse” is the customary name for this form of spousal emotional abuse. […]

“My child is being abused at her father’s home. When she reaches out to mental healthcare providers and I reach out to my attorney, all hell breaks lose and the helpers can’t tell what’s really going on.” Sound familiar? Most people realize that mental health and family law need each other, but fail to recognize […]

We hear about it and see it on the news routinely: “Man kills woman.”…”It was an accident.” An accident is a defense, not a description of domestic violence. Domestic abuse is never an accident. Now of course one may say, “I didn’t know she was going to die when I beat her to death.” But […]

There are no “right” or “wrong” answers when it comes to domestic violence. Each situation is as unique as each person living it. You heard me. There are as many variations to this story as there are people living it. So, don’t let anyone tell you what you “should” or “shouldn’t” do. Far too often […]