Looking for commitment in all the wrong places, or from the wrong people? You may have just missed some vital clues. The following are some of the things you should look out for in a relationship.

We all know the blissful feeling of starting a new romance. Boy meets girl, boy likes girl and the two fall deeply in love. As their relationship develops, girl starts to envision the day that boy will get down on bended knee and ask her to be his partner for life. She daydreams about their life ahead. As more of her friends begin to settle down, girl believes it is just a matter of time before her turn arrives to get a place on the happily-ever-after train. Never one to take matters into her own hands, and make it clear to boy that time is ticking, girl waits. And waits. Soon, girl begins to wonder if he’ll ever commit, or if she should simply give up and move on. Are there any particular signs girl could have seen to determine whether boy was ready to settle down with her? As these questions continue to run through her mind, girl knows that either way, something will have to give.

Is He Commitment-Friendly?

There are men who don’t have a problem committing and those who will never commit. There is a general window when a man is most likely to commit. This is usually within two years after completing his education, whether it is at the undergraduate level or higher. This could also be true for a major milestone in his life. A man who intends on settling down is more likely to do so afar achieving a big goal because he feels well established and able to deal with the next phase of his life. The more financially secure he feels, the more open he will be to committing.

The temptation to quit when things get hard is natural. And it is during such times that commitment becomes more of a decision than a feeling. Any woman desiring to be in a committed relationship should have a clear idea of the values she wants her potential partner to have, and pay attention to warning signals throughout the relationship. Women fall into the trap of choosing the wrong man. If you get a sense that there is something wrong with him, like having had a string of past relationships, or children by different women, leave him alone immediately. Getting drunk can be fun, not when the mortgage is due. If you are hoping to settle down and have been in a relationship for more than 12 to 18 months without any sign of commitment from his end, it is time to re-evaluate. If you do go ahead with it, make sure you are ready to live with the consequences.

Contrary to the go-getter characteristic afforded men, most commitment-friendly guys need to be cajoled when it comes to committing. It comes down to a fear of rejection. You have been going out with a guy who adores you, whether or not he says it. He enjoys making love to you, but additionally, he likes hanging out with you. Nonetheless, he has not committed himself fully. …He is definitely terrified about commitment. So if you are in a relationship you hope will lead to marriage, make sure that your man is aware of it. Men will tend to react negatively when a woman brings up the idea of cementing a relationship, however, by doing so, the man will know where she stands and he can proceed from there. Men are much more likely to propose or pursue a relationship when they know they will be welcome. If you don’t bring it up, the chances are slim that he will.

Women have been conditioned to believe that men are supposed to do all the initiating, which is simply not true. Remember, however, that while it is OK to plant the idea, there is a fine line between getting your point across and nagging your man about your ticking biological clock.
As your relationship develops, make your boundaries clear where fidelity is concerned. Many women are afraid that their man will get uneasy if they insist on fidelity. Your man would like you to desire only him… albeit your guy may dissent or behave as if the statement is daft, he will definitely be relieved and take one gigantic stride in the direction of commitment.

What About Her Will Make Him Commit?

When a man is ready to commit, he cedes some of his independence, especially with regard to decision-making, to you. Your opinion of the things you both do matters a lot. When a man is running stuff by you, he is having you fulfill one of the more critical functions of a wife: vetting and validation of your decisions. Trust, loyalty and a simple acceptance of who (not what) he is, are qualities a man needs when it comes to settling down with his woman. If he feels that his relationship is lacking in these areas, he will not be ready. But ceding some of his independence is a gradual process. If a man feels that he is losing too much of his independence too fast, he is likely to pull away from you. Give him the confidence that he’s still a guy and can nonetheless travel light, up to a point, by being easy about time he requires away from you. Your guy will desire to know that you’re your own person. Even though men appreciate feeling required, those who are open to commitment are equally pleased when they realize you are able to run your personal ship without having their assistance.

Your opinion of who he is, personality-wise, starts to matter a lot to him when he is ready for commitment because he is opening himself and his vulnerabilities up to you.

Signs to Watch Out For

1. Ask, ask, ask. Make your goals clear to your man. If he still doesn’t get it, he’s not getting it anytime soon.

2. If it feels like you are constantly swimming upstream when it comes to getting your man to fully commit to you, you’re working too hard.

3. Recent divorcees or people who have just come out of a long-term relationship are quicker to commit to a rebound relationship. Be wary of them if stability is what you want.

4. While waiting too long for a sign of commitment is not a good sign, the same is to be said of the opposite. Be very wary of a man who insists that he loves you merely after weeks of knowing you and is overly eager to commit in a short amount of time. Such declarations are usually not genuine.

5. If he is continuously keeping you hidden from his social and professional circles, something is not right. A man who is looking to commit will make it a priority to introduce you to his friends and family.

6. If he tells you that he is not ready to commit to you, believe him.

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Category: Relationships
Keywords: relationship, dating, dating tips for woman, commitment, eharmony, perfectmatch