I used to think that caretaking was the opposite of narcissism. I thought that narcissists were people who demanded that others give themselves up to care-take the narcissist. I thought that caretakers were people who were programmed to take care of others instead of themselves. I thought that caretakers needed some healthy narcissism and that […]

Helplessness is a very difficult feeling. It can even feel like life or death to those of us who were left to cry for hours as babies, with no one coming to help us. Because we were so helpless over ourselves as babies and small children, it can trigger feelings of panic. It\’s hard to […]

A recent study indicates that crying does not make people feel better. But there is a problem with this study. (Crying shame: Tears don\’t make you feel any better, study shows, By Cari Nierenberg, http://bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com/_news/2011/07/29/7190543-crying-shame-tears-dont-make-you-feel-any-better-study-shows#.TjR9l8uTx0A.email). The study indicates that: \”Shedding tears only improved mood in one-third of criers who kept tabs of their bawling behaviors, […]

\”Security is mostly superstition. It does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than outright exposure. Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing. To keep our faces toward change and behave like free spirits in the presence […]

There was an interesting article in The Atlantic, entitled \”How to Land Your Kid in Therapy: Why the obsession with our kids\’ happiness may be dooming them to unhappy adulthoods. A therapist and mother reports.\” http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/ The article is about the way many parents focus much of their energy on being there for their children, […]

Many years ago, I became aware of feeling anxious much of the time. Since this feeling had been with me as long as I could remember, it had seemed normal – until it stopped being okay with me. It stopped being okay when I went back to school to become a psychotherapist. I realized then […]

One of the sad truths in our society is how empty many people feel, and the devastation their emptiness causes others through their resulting addictive behavior. We have all heard about the sexual acting-out of Anthony Weiner, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Tiger Woods, Bill Clinton and John Edwards. We all know about the many famous people who […]

\”Science has finally confirmed what anyone who\’s ever been in love already knows: Heartbreak really does hurt.\” http://www.cnn.com/2011/HEALTH/03/28/burn.heartbreak.same.to.brain/index.html \”In a new study using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers have found that the same brain networks that are activated when you\’re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about a lover who […]

How often have you had the thought, \”If you really loved me, you wouldn\’t… * Get angry, yell, curse, call names, say mean, untrue things about me * Project your behavior onto me * Withdraw, run away, shut down, sit spaced-out in front of the TV * Resist doing what I ask you to do […]

\”I freak out when my husband even looks at another woman. I trust him not to wander, so I don\’t know why this upsets me so much.\” \”My partner spends too much time with her friends and family. What\’s the point of being together if she\’s always gone a couple of nights a week?\” \”My […]