It is important to be there as stay-at-home parents when your children are young, or have a caregiver that can really replace you, because it is essential for their well-being and good development, in particular for the “attachment bond” that allows them to function properly all their lives. As a sociologist, observing the effects done to younger generations that were taken care of mostly by other caregivers than their parents, as a mother of twins and their unique attachment bonds, and as a child that had both stay-at-home parent, daycare and public school worlds, I know how it can badly affect individuals if not properly formed.

ATTACHMENT BOND

The attachment bond is in fact an emotional bond with the primary caregivers, such as parents. Important, it is to be formed in the first years of life. It promotes security, feeling safe to explore the world, a sense of belonging, and a need to stay near the caregivers (and be a little distressed when they leave but really happy when they come back). Secure attached children know that they can count on their caregivers and that they will always come back, therefore being more confident and resourceful, seeking them out if there is something wrong. Later in life, they tend to have a good self-esteem, openness to others and have lasting relationships.

SHOCKING EFFECTS

If the attachment bond isn’t adequately formed, because the parents or other caregivers aren’t there enough or are negligent, children can develop many problems that can last throughout life! Younger, they will trust as much strangers as their parents, not responding to their needs of belonging and security, avoid asking others for help and sometimes become very distressed when their caregivers leave. They can have a variety of disorders, being defiant, opposed or stressed.

Adults not being emotionally secured and able to trust others can end up living more problematic lives, find it hard to fit in society and be cold-hearted with others. We see this problem nowadays with the last generation Y, who saw more of their caregivers than their parents, being the first generation most taking care of in daycares.

GOOD BOND WITH YOUR CHILD

You have to admit, if we don’t see our children for the most parts of the workweek, how can we really bond with them? In fact, a lot of experts agree that the best thing to form a good attachment bond is to be a stay-at-home parent, as Dr. Laura who wrote a book on this type of parenting, or Tina Blue, a daycare worker and author whose whole career gave her corroboration that the place of children is with their parents. This way parents can really provide what their kids need and give them a good start.

If you are already a stay-at-home parent, be proud of doing what is best for your child. Spend time alone with each of your kid, especially when they are younger and if you have twins, to make sure they relate to you as their primary caregiver and trust you. I find it’s really great for us and our children to have special time with each one of us.

If you aren’t able be at home yet, be very careful to spend quality time with him every day, to whom you choose as a caregiver (a lond term dedicated nanny would have more 1 on 1 time than daycares), find ways that at least one parent can reduce his hours of work and be more with your child then head towards a job one of you can do part time from home.

To know more about becoming or being a stay-at-home parent and the needs of children, thanks for visiting http://www.stay-at-home-parent.com !

Author Bio: You can use it for your site! But include this : Marie-Eve Boudreault is a sociologist and the author of the website and ebooks on how to be Blissful Stay-At-Home Moms and Dads. Improve your life by subscribing to her ezine and get 2 free ebooks as a bonus \’\’10 Tips to Be A Blissful Stay-At-Home Parent\’\’ and \’\’Activities For Bored Kids\’\’, a limited double offer! Articles, ebooks, exclusive stay-at-home parent forum, and more at http://www.stay-at-home-parent.com

Category: Parenting
Keywords: parent, father, stay-at-home dad, child, at home, work-from-home, stay-at-home mom, mother, SAHM