How many of us were spanked as children? If we didn\’t do as we were told or made a mistake of some kind, how often was the consequence some sort of physical punishment? I don\’t mean to say that the punishment was necessarily abusive or anything, just physical. Perhaps it was a spanking or being sent to the corner for an hour or being made to do some kind of extra chore. Did we therefore fear our parents if we made a mistake? Did we feel like home was a safe place to be?

What if instead of giving our children some sort of physical consequence the result was more of an internal one for them? As a parent we think our role is one of being a punisher. We need to make sure that our children know how to obey us. Our parents may have taught us that the only way to make us obedient was to use some sort of punishment. It\’s normal for us to have this belief. That\’s how it\’s always been.

As we became adults it was no longer acceptable for our parents to control us physically. So what did we do? Did we run around misbehaving because our parents weren\’t controlling us anymore? Of course not, we began to control ourselves based on what we knew in our hearts and minds as moral or correct? So what\’s wrong with allowing our children to take on that responsibility sooner?

We know they are capable and they have a right to that freedom as long as we teach them to be good people. We are good people leading our children by our example. They are learning from us all the time. So wouldn\’t it be easier on us to just allow them to make mistakes and learn from them without the fear of punishment from their parents? Children don\’t have anywhere to be but home. As parents it\’s our responsibility to ensure they feel safe with us.

Just give it a try. Give your children the freedom to take control of themselves. Replace fear as a motivation to do well with love and trust. If it seems that children aren\’t listening to you and that there is a space between the two of you that won\’t allow communication, take down the barrier of fear and see what happens. Honor, trust, and value are very powerful in a child\’s world and will create distance in a relationship with their parents if they don\’t feel it exists.

A very simple way to accomplish trust between you and your child is to let them know you are proud of them. Even if they\’ve had a really bad day and things went all wrong, let them know how proud you are of them. If they\’ve never heard this before from you or anyone else, it may take a few times for them to really hear it. Be sincere and say it as many times as it takes.

Just keep in mind the \”Golden Rule\”, treat others as you want to be treated. Everyone wants to be treated with respect, love and honor. Stop looking at children as things that need to be obedient and treat them as if they are little people who want the same things you do. They aren\’t separate from adults; they are just learning how to be adults. Treat them as you want to be treated and you may be surprised how they start to take care of you as their parent. Give them what they need to enjoy the journey to adulthood rather than fearing it.

Sydney and her husband Glen enjoy being in nature, hiking, canoeing, fishing, and camping.They\’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit that drove them to find a business they could work from home. However they both had good jobs that held them firmly in their comfort zone.The problem was they didn\’t have the freedom they wanted to do what they love and enjoy. Here is more information on the solution they found to give them the freedom they craved.Check us out here http://SystemStepByStep.com

Sydney Dinsmore and her husband Glen have always had an entrepreneurial spirit that drove them to find a business they could work from home.They wanted to take control of their lives. If you\’re ready to take control check out the solution they found http://SystemStepByStep.com

Author Bio: Sydney and her husband Glen enjoy being in nature, hiking, canoeing, fishing, and camping.They\’ve always had an entrepreneurial spirit that drove them to find a business they could work from home. However they both had good jobs that held them firmly in their comfort zone.The problem was they didn\’t have the freedom they wanted to do what they love and enjoy. Here is more information on the solution they found to give them the freedom they craved.Check us out here http://SystemStepByStep.com

Category: Advice
Keywords: Parent,Safe,punishment,Child,Comfort zone,values,beliefs,control,Entrepreneur,Online,business,Sydney